Edith Speaks
by TeamGwenee
Summary: Edith says some things that really (Really) need to be said. I don't ow DA.


Edith winced as she examined the slice in her finger.

"Papercut," she muttered, before putting it into her mouth and sucking it.

She had been looking through references for people applying to be her nanny. Well, not her nanny. Marigold's nanny. Though she would like a nanny. Apart from Aunt Rosamund, nanny had been the only person who had every hugged her. (She didn't think her night with Gregson counted as a hug.)

The bedroom was decorated, she had a nice sofa put in and had found several schools nearby that looked suitable. The building her flat was in provided coking and cleaning. All she needed was nanny. And this was where Edith struggled. She needed a day nanny, only having two rooms, but she couldn't get over the horror of leaving Marigold alone with a stranger. She needed someone she could trust.

"What are reading?" Robert asked, peeing at her over his newspaper.

"Nanny applications,"

"Are you really going through with it then?" Tom inquired.

"Well it's been on the cards for a while now. And frankly I couldn't think of a better time. I want everything sorted before Mary and Henry get back,"

Robert nodded, "That would be good. Newlyweds have many things to sort out after the initial glow wears off. It'd be best if you could arrange everything so they don't have to bothered about it,"  
Edith just stared at her plate.

"Tom, have you and Mary found a way to pay for those new cottages yet?"

"No, but I want to find a way before Mary gets back. Any thoughts?"

"I was just thinking, why doesn't Edith make a contribution?"

Edith's head shot up. "What?"

Robert and Tom turned to face Edith.

"Well, now that your magazine is running smoothly, it's about time you do something useful,"

"What?" 

"I mean for the estate," Robert added quickly.

"And here was I thinking I was the useful one,"

"You are my darling. You always have been," Robert smiled fondly, "You know Tom, she was never as trouble as Sybil and Mary,"

Edith spoke quietly, yet something about her tone made everyone listen.

"No papa, I was as much trouble. You just never troubled with me,"

"Don't be ridiculous Edith," 

"Well I suppose that I was less trouble, at first," Edith looked up and stared Robert in the eye. "That's what was the most galling. I played by the rules. I did everything right. Yet I would never be a failure in your and mama's eyes,"

"Come Edith be reaso-"

"Shut up," She hissed, "No matter what I did, you still would never love me as much as Sybil and Mary. No matter how I tried. So I stopped being the good girl. Do you know who my first kiss was? Mr Drake, the farmer. The married farmer. I snogged him in his barn,"

"What!" Robert cried, "Edith, how could you?" 

"Well, in my defense I had drunk a couple of beers at the time. But you can't believe that, can you? You can't believe that a man would love me. Sir Anthony wanted a nurse, Michael wanted my title,"

"Edith..,"

"Robert," Tom interjected, "She's still hurt over Bertie. It's just the disappointment speaking,"

"No it isn't. It's Mary speaking, it's mama speaking, it's papa speaking and Granny speaking,"

"Edith, your mother and I would never say such things,"

"Yes, you did. Remember when I was eleven and had that temperature? You thought I was sleeping and I heard you talking. _'Poor old Edith, I don't know how she'll ever find a husband, being so plain and dull'_ Those words stuck in my head. That night I had fever dreams so it became all my dollies speaking too! Is that why you broke things between me and Anthony? Because you couldn't bear to be proven wrong about me,"

"That is quite enough Edith!" Robert stood, slamming his hand on the table, "You speak as though I don't love you! Well I do, that's why I made Anthony leave. When you were little I had to face the fact that my little girls would grow up and move away. All I could do was take comfort from the fact that you would never leave me. That you would be here to look after me and mama when we were old,"

Edith's face paled. "How dare you. You disgusting man. You disgusting, pathetic man. Haven't I already given up enough for this family? I already had to put on a brave face for Mary after she ruined things between me and Bertie. And when you were all fussing over her messes you left me in London, without a kind word or an inquiry on how I felt. No, you devoted your time to making sure Queen Mary was taken care of. And where was I? Working. When Mary was moaning and whingeing I was doing something. But even then, you still couldn't spare me a thought. Because to you I was still poor pathetic Edith, the pitiful spinster. And whatever I do, I will always be a lesser person in your eyes,"

"Why are you saying this?" 

"Because I want you to know, I want everyone to know how wrong you are about me. I want you to realise I am a person, just as worthy as happiness as the Empress Mary Crawley. I want you to hear me and actually listen. I want you to know my feelings matter. I want you to know _I_ matter!"

"I already know that!"

"Very well then. I also want you to know that I will _never_ nurse you on your deathbed and you will never get your hands on my money,"

And with that Edith spun around, shoved her chair aside and stormed from the room. Decorum be damned, she slammed the door and stood seething. There, it was said. Now she could leave. She would pack her things and start a new life. Just her and Marigold..

"Damn," she swore, she still needed a nanny. 


End file.
